Swan or siting duck?

On a beautiful summery day, I was enjoying a cup of coffee in a lovely bar. All I got out of that black liquid was only an energy boost, nothing more. I hit the wall in my life. I couldn’t explain it differently. My school years were behind me. However I was good at work which covered all my expenses, and, at the end of the month, I still had some money left. Moreover, I felt lonely, actually, even in the company of cheerful people. I was lost and searching for someone who would be like her. Of course, that was a difficult task, I felt suspense, unease and I knew that I wasn’t fair to myself. When I’d met someone with whom I felt calm it soon became clear that the intentions of the other side were completely different, and so I fell even deeper into the abyss without an exit. That was just daily self-talk, nothing more. When I was ready to settle the bill, I heard the familiar sound.

Not so far away from me, actually just a few tables away from me, I saw her. It was my first true love. That one who gave me wings and also took them away a few months later. At first, you are the beautiful snow-white swan, then you are a wingless sitting duck, waiting for a hound.  With her, I felt the feelings I never knew they existed… “

“At first you are the beautiful snow-white swan, then you are wingless siting duck, waiting for hound”

Look at her now, she still looks like a beautiful  swan, but even a swan is nothing special if it is alone.”Argh, what the hell, I was in no rush, so I stopped at her table and said: “Is it just me, or you really haven’t changed a bit?”  She looked at me and smiled. We had a talk that could compensate for the last eight years. And all the topics we wanted to discuss thoroughly had to wait for another time because she was in a hurry, headed back to her job she actually hated. However, it paid the bills. Just before she left, she told me that this coffee with me was something most exciting and something nicest she hadn’t experienced for a long time. “You know, this could be our life, not just some coffee,” I said. She left with an open mouth and I saw her embarrassment when I said that.

“You know, this could be our life, not just some coffee”

All day long, I was thinking about that conversation with so many questions. However, I didn’t want to be intrusive. In that short time, I got all the important answers without even asking. Wrong decisions drove her in a hopeless situation therefore, she is not happy. Looks like it is not only me miserable… Back in school days when we were a couple, I was a different person. Only without her, I was able to grow up into an adult I am now. Maybe our path had to end so soon. Anyway if I managed that many years without her, I can handle more than I think.