When Ian asked me if I would go for a walk around the lake I was thrilled to escape the ambiguous looks and questions that were currently abundant, really sounded inviting. However, there was a chance that he was mad, considering my direct message, and so there was a chance I would get some lectures. To be honest, my biggest fear then was that walk, but I meant what I had said. The fact that he had cleared his day just for me really meant a lot to me. It launched me into the seventh heaven when I realized that he had already made all the arrangements needed. A nice lunch by the lake, a cup of coffee with some amazing dessert, and a peaceful walk. It was nice of him to be so thoughtful. He knows I’m a foodie and a huge nature lover. It looks like that stroll had some positive notes. I must admit, it was a big surprise how thoughtful he was to me. Nevertheless, I had hurt him terribly. In a remote corner of my mind, there was also an idea that he would just feed me well and dump me somewhere near this lake.
“In a remote corner of my mind, there was also an idea that he would just feed me well and dump me somewhere near this lake. “
Anyway, the second big surprise was when he told me that he was leaving soon. That just couldn’t be real! We had just got a chance to hang out! It couldn’t be over even before it had started. When he began to explain that he was going to travel I didn’t understand anything. For a moment he lost my attention. My thoughts hastened from one situation to another. A pessimistic autopilot took over my brain control. At first, there was some envy that he would be able to discover some beautiful places in this world while I would be just dreaming about that experience without reaching across the homeland border.
I noticed the tense silence and got my first “be yourself” moment in my life. I don’t even remember what I actually said, but I think it was an offer to join him on this travels and just to let me explore myself with him. Though it took me a while to realize that I want to join him, which meant I needed to leave my job and my old life. Well, it wasn’t so bountiful life anyway. It looks like I’ll see the world after all, and more importantly, we’ll be bound to each other. What could be more fulfilling?